Yes, I am a 31 single female.
I am not in a “relationship.”
I have a good job and a nice car.
I take fun vacations and I go out on the town occasionally.
I am independent, strong, and beautiful.
So why is that men of less than desirable nature constantly try to add me on FB or send me a private message wanting to “holler” at me?
Do I come across as desperate?
After jumping on the tinder bandwagon a few weeks ago, this has been a normal occurrence for me every few days. A complete stranger will add me on FB. We may have a few friends in common, but mostly they are either men who are single (hell, some have been married). My rule of thumb is to always ask if I know them.
Now, I do have a pretty spot-on memory. If we meet, most likely I will remember. It is part of my JOB to remember people and conversations, so when I get a request, my first thought is “Is this a client? Have we met in passing?”
But like I said, lately it has been random men. I send a private message afterwards:
“Hello. I saw your friend add. Do I know you? I apologize in advance if we have met previously.”
“No we don’t. You popped up in my ‘people you may know’ and I thought you might want hang out.”
Since when did I start looking 15? I didn’t realize grown adults “hang out.”
Depending on the person, the conversation usually goes down from there. I guess I could be considered a bitch for denying the requests but I have no desire to hang out with a man who has no job and sleeps on his parents couch.
I don’t get this culture were we think we can just add a person and a relationship just start.
My sister on the other hand made the horrible mistake of adding someone who did this last Tuesday. They had their first date on Thursday and by Friday he was staying over. She FINALLY got him to leave today, 5 days after he basically moved in. She asked me where she went wrong. And I told her honestly, “They think we are desperate and for a moment you were.” The guy tried talking into selling her house and buying a trailer for the two of them on a river so he could fish.
I would love to be married and be a mother. But I would also love to be superwoman and Taylor Swift. Some things that we want are unattainable and some things happen over time with patience. I learned a long time ago not to push relationships or situations because they tend to blow up in your face.
And as “desperate” as I may seem, I am anything but.
Anyone else have this problem?