I Choose Sleep

I recently got in touch with my roommate from college. We haven’t hung out/partied together in about four years and I honestly have no idea what she has been up to (besides what appears on FB). I was really looking forward to having dinner, a drink, and catch up time.

We had been discussing meeting up for two weeks when it finally came down to setting a date and time.

Me: “Are you still good with meeting up on Thursday?”

Her: “Of course! But I don’t get done teaching until 7:45pm so we can meet up around 8:30.”

My heart sank.

It isn’t her fault that I wake up at 5:00 am every morning and that my schedule is much more like that of a 65 year old woman’s (I would know, I do live with one and I call her Mom).

I immediately was angry with her. How is that she can still have this lifestyle? Does she not realize that people have jobs where they need to be at work at 8 am NOT 8 PM? Or that some of us workout in the mornings and not at night?

And just like that my anger because jealousy.

Jealousy is an emotion I feel quite often and I don’t really have a problem admitting it.  I am jealous of most of my married friends. I am jealous that my sister gets to act like a kid all day while I have gray hair and wrinkles from the stresses of my job. I am jealous of Blake Lively’s hair, skin, husband and body.

Her life seems so carefree. She’s a dancer teacher. She hasn’t had a “normal” job ever and once again she gets to keep living as if she is in college. (I am pretty sure her parents pay hers’ and her sister’s rent).

The next step is moving past the jealousy.

My life is pretty awesome. I work for a company that promoted me. I have a brand new car (and the payments to go with it). I don’t mind being single and alone and for the first time I actually have a handle on my finances.

While I wish I could meet up with her and go over the past four years…

I would rather sleep.

“Sorry girl. I wake up at 5 am every morning to work out so I am usually asleep by 9. Maybe we can get something down next week!”

I doubt we will ever hang out.






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